Phone numbers, emails, research. The possibility of a new life chapter is terrifying. But my mother told me today that when I talk about it in twenty years it will just become half of a sentence. A phrase that no one even questions or raises an eyebrow at. I need to sit myself down sometimes and stop hyperventilating and tell myself that in the grand scheme of things, it's just not a big deal. I'm going to be ok.
My room is still dirty. I guess it reflects my state of mind. I can't say that I'm proud of that. Also, today I had three cups of tea and still had a massive headache. I then leaned over the counter at work to see exactly what was in the tea that I had been consuming and one of the ingredients was definitely not caffeine. I was upset. Somehow, my mind has twisted this situation into such a form that I can blame the tea. How dare it not blatantly scream about its decaffeination while I brought the third cup to my lips? All I got was a full bladder. Being betrayed by Tazo's Wild Sweet Orange tea hurts. I'll never trust again.
I love Aaron Copland's Fanfare for the Common Man. It screams America. Speaking of America, I think I'll start painting again. It's been almost six months, I wonder what that says about my state of mind?
Classes are winding down. Papers are due, and all on the same day. Thank you Dr. Clagget. Dr. Crecsenzo. Dr. Johnson. You guys are saints. In reviewing my track record for this past semester on the whole class skipping thing, I'm doing quite well. I have to say that I'm very proud of myself....minus German. But I pretend like that one doesn't count.
Ah-oh, smokestack lightening. Shinin' just like gold,
Why don't ya hear me cryin'
Ooooh, oooh, oooh.
Ah tell me baby, what's the matter with you?
Why don't ya hear me cryin'
Ooooh, oooh, oooh.
Goodnight, Mississippi.
2 comments:
There was something a prof said to me over exams last semester that has kept me sane for the past months. Always take into account the time period something effects. he went on to say remember the long and short term and which it effects. Mostly, it helps me realize how little most things i am stressing over actually effect me in the course of my life. ultimately, very little effects us and will dramatically change our lives.
Copland's "Fanfare" is one of your father's all time favorites. I think he has influenced you.
Post a Comment